Imagine yourself walking in the middle of summer. The sun is blazing, the air is heavy, and the pavement radiates heat. And yet, you’re wearing a thick winter coat fully buttoned, collar tight against your neck.
Within minutes, sweat pours down your back, your shoulders ache, your breath grows heavy. Still, somehow, you keep walking as if this were normal.
That coat is not fabric. It is the life you’ve been carrying.
When Survival Habits Become Exhaustion
The coat is the overcoat. It is the way you step in to solve other people’s problems. You constantly need to control every detail because you’re convinced that if you let go, everything will fall apart.
I know this coat because I wore it for years. At first, it was almost invisible: staying late one more night to finish a project, saying “yes” when I was empty, forcing a smile to avoid conflict.
But layer by layer, the coat thickened, covering work, worry, responsibility, and expectations. It grew heavier and hotter until I forgot there was any other way to live.
Maybe you’ve done this too. Perhaps you’ve even been praised for your “strength,” when it was just endurance, smiling while sweat soaked through your skin.
You Are Not Broken — Just Overheated
The essential truth is this: the coat is not evil. Once, it saved you. In childhood, when the world felt uncertain and the only way to survive was to be strong, capable, and always in control.
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But seasons change. And what once protected you now only drains you.
Burnout is not failure. Exhaustion is not weakness. Carrying too much doesn’t mean you’re broken. It only means you’ve been wearing the wrong season’s armor.
Learning to Loosen the Coat
Taking the coat off doesn’t happen overnight. It begins by loosening the buttons, one at a time.
Saying “no” when your body screams for rest.
Letting an email wait until tomorrow.
Allowing someone else to carry their own storms.
And yes, some people won’t understand. They’ll ask why you aren’t wearing it anymore. They may even try to hand you theirs. Let them. This is your body, your breath, your summer.
A Note Just for You
You’ve walked too long beneath someone else’s weather. It’s time to feel the sun on your own skin.
This is the beginning of the journey I’ll be sharing in my upcoming work about the hidden loops we often get trapped in: overdoing, people-pleasing, fixing, and controlling. I’ll also discuss how to step out of them, not by force or hustle but by remembering how to live without the heavy coat.
This article is drawn from my experience at the crossroads of medicine, psychology, and lived practice. It’s part of the work I’m sharing in my next book, which includes the unique 3R Principle, written for anyone who feels trapped in exhaustion but ready to come home to themselves.
burnout · overwork · control · mental health · boundaries
Imagine yourself walking in the middle of summer. The sun is blazing, the air is heavy, and the pavement radiates heat. And yet, you’re wearing a thick winter coat fully buttoned, collar tight against your neck.
Within minutes, sweat pours down your back, your shoulders ache, your breath grows heavy. Still, somehow, you keep walking as if this were normal.
That coat is not fabric. It is the life you’ve been carrying.
When Survival Habits Become Exhaustion
The coat is the overcoat. It is the way you step in to solve other people’s problems. You constantly need to control every detail because you’re convinced that if you let go, everything will fall apart.
I know this coat because I wore it for years. At first, it was almost invisible: staying late one more night to finish a project, saying “yes” when I was empty, forcing a smile to avoid conflict.
But layer by layer, the coat thickened, covering work, worry, responsibility, and expectations. It grew heavier and hotter until I forgot there was any other way to live.
Maybe you’ve done this too. Perhaps you’ve even been praised for your “strength,” when it was just endurance, smiling while sweat soaked through your skin.
You Are Not Broken — Just Overheated
The essential truth is this: the coat is not evil. Once, it saved you. In childhood, when the world felt uncertain and the only way to survive was to be strong, capable, and always in control.
Get Doctor Stik’s stories in your inbox
Join Medium for free to get updates from this writer.Subscribe
But seasons change. And what once protected you now only drains you.
Burnout is not failure. Exhaustion is not weakness. Carrying too much doesn’t mean you’re broken. It only means you’ve been wearing the wrong season’s armor.
Learning to Loosen the Coat
Taking the coat off doesn’t happen overnight. It begins by loosening the buttons, one at a time.
And yes, some people won’t understand. They’ll ask why you aren’t wearing it anymore. They may even try to hand you theirs. Let them. This is your body, your breath, your summer.
A Note Just for You
You’ve walked too long beneath someone else’s weather. It’s time to feel the sun on your own skin.
This is the beginning of the journey I’ll be sharing in my upcoming work about the hidden loops we often get trapped in: overdoing, people-pleasing, fixing, and controlling. I’ll also discuss how to step out of them, not by force or hustle but by remembering how to live without the heavy coat.
This article is drawn from my experience at the crossroads of medicine, psychology, and lived practice. It’s part of the work I’m sharing in my next book, which includes the unique 3R Principle, written for anyone who feels trapped in exhaustion but ready to come home to themselves.
burnout · overwork · control · mental health · boundaries
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